Exam nonsense

Hi again!

I know. You all were wondering if I was still alive. Well, wonder no more, I am indeed still alive! Even better...I'm still alive after my exams! I am very sorry for my negligence in updating you about my life here in London. I suppose I would feel less guilty if I could honestly say I haven't done anything interesting or I have been simply too busy to write. I have been busy, but I should have made time to blog. But never fear because my time away from blogging has made me miss it, which is great news for anyone who actually cares to read my blog. In all the time that I spent day-dreaming about not studying for exams (instead of actually, you know, studying) I have planned a number of posts that I want to share with you. So stay tuned over the next few weeks and hopefully I will make up for my horrid blogging practices of the past!

Today* I reached a very important milestone in the life of any student. I FINISHED MY EXAMS!!!!! Now, before we are all carried away with excitement, I should clarify that this does not (sadly) mean that I'm actually done with my degree. In fact, I still have to write my dissertation which is kind of important. But that is a concern for tomorrow. Today, I'm celebrating because I FINISHED MY EXAMS! Other graduate students may celebrate by going out and doing all sorts of things that one shouldn't post on a blog for the world (of parents and future employers) to see. But me, my celebration techniques are entirely G-rated, so I can share. My celebration consisted of lunch with a few friends before coming back to my (mercifully empty this week) room, watching some movies (note to everyone: don't watch Eat Pray Love unless you are prepared to crave Italian food for the rest of the night), having a low key dinner of frozen pizza and writing to you! And boy, was that an awesome way to spend a day!

To continue the celebration, I have decided to share with you my musings about exams at LSE. In other words, I have decided to share with you the things about LSE exams that I find amusing...the light side of graduate exams, if you will. See amid all the stress of exams that count for MY ENTIRE GRADE for those classes (but don't get me started on that and why that is a horrible idea), LSE apparently decided that they would cheer me up with all sorts of regulations that I find really amusing (if not outright funny). Now I should say, that I found these tidbits amusing when I was in the grips of exam stress-induced delirium (in other words, my sense of funny might have been rather skewed). So I can't actually promise you will find the rest of this post amusing, but I wanted to share it anyway.

Before I continue, I should say that LSE (and, I understand, UK schools in general) makes a huge effort to ensure fairness and as much objectivity as possible with exams and other graded work. And I applaud their efforts. To give you an EXAMple (haha), our names are not on any of our exam papers (in other words, our papers can not be associated with us by the graders) and each paper is graded by a minimum of two professors. They must agree on the grade and if they fail to agree, or the grade is particularly high (they don't like giving high grades it seems), or the grade is particularly low, etc. a third reader must be involved. No wonder I won't get my preliminary (that's right, not even final) grades for months! But I digress.

I should also make it very clear that these regulations are designed to limit/prevent cheating. While I will be pointing out some flaws with these plans, it is very important to me that you know I would NEVER consider cheating. NEVER! (Just ask my parents who never had to worry about me doing something bad and then hiding it because I would feel so guilty I would confess my doings to them anyway.) Without further ado, I give you my commentary on LSE exam practices...

1) What allows the objectivity of the graders is something called a candidate number. Each student is assigned a candidate number (which is different from their student identification number) and it is this number that goes on our exam papers. I tell you this as preface to the first amusing exam regulation. See, we are required to bring with us, to every exam, our student ID (with our picture and student number but not our candidate number) and a print out (with no markings whatsoever) of a page with our candidate number and exam timetable (i.e. schedule) on it. These two things are checked during every exam (interestingly, not before one begins) to ensure that everyone is supposed to be there and taking that particular exam. That would all make a lot of sense to me--the need for identification is, by itself, unsurprising and not particularly amusing. No, what I find amusing is that there is nothing (as far as I can tell, and believe me, I have looked) that tie those two forms of identification together. Yes, my student ID proves that I am Abigail and that I am an LSE student. And the printout proves that someone with candidate number XXXXX is scheduled to take exam Y. But my question is, what proves that this LSE student with this valid id is the person with that candidate number?? I mean, the two documents prove that I am me and that said candidate is supposed to take said exam, but they don't prove that I am the candidate that is supposed to take said exam!

2) In every classroom in which exams take place, the usual desks are removed and replaced with folding, individual-sized tables (that remind me a lot of the dinner trays we have at my house only bigger) and different chairs than are usually in the room. Now, I get it. I understand the reasoning. The idea is to separate us so that we can be monitored easily and effectively and to ensure that we don't cheat. But here's the problem with this method: a good half (okay, I'm totally guessing here, but it seems like at least half) of the folding exam tables wobble like crazy! So they have to fold up extra exam booklets to put under one or more of the legs so that we have something resembling a steady table to write our essays on. And the tables still wobble! Because when we are taking two-hour exams, trying to remember all the stuff we crammed in our heads, scribbling in an effort to get everything on paper in time, and all the while remembering that these things count for 100% of our grade, clearly, everyone also wants to be worrying about/dealing with desks that don't stand still!

3) While we're on the subject of seating arrangements...in any given examination room, there may be multiple exams going on at one time (I have seen up to six different exams taking place in one room). Now, perhaps to those of you not suffering from exam-induced craziness (as am I) this makes perfect sense. After all, it is reasonable to use all available space. BUT, there are two aspects that make this worthy of blog space. First, not everyone who is taking exam X will be together in room Y. Meaning that, in my experience, in a class of 30 people, we will be spread over at least 2 different rooms (more if the class is larger). Again, you might say, well this is to limit the possibilities for cheating. To which I say, sure, but those of us taking exam X in room A are all seated together in a group (and further, we know which room and seat we will be in weeks ahead of time). Second, and more amusing/confusing, I have in fact seen exams that are different lengths take place in the same room! This means that there are still people writing when others are leaving the room with all the chair-scraping, jacket-flapping, and other noise-making that entails. Those poor people who still had time to write!

4) This one is one of my favorites. Phones must be off and under your desk. That means, not in your bag which must be left at the front of your room, but actually within reach, under your desk. The reason for this became clear when someone's phone started ringing, but it was in the bag (breaking two rules at once) and therefore no one could stop it. But still. The fact that you actually have to keep your phone with you strikes me as backwards and inviting trouble.

5) Apparently, you are not allowed to even enter the building in which your exam takes place until 45 minutes prior to the start of the exam. When I arrived early for my 10 AM exams, I was told I had to wait outside until 9:15. I ask you, what sort of shenanigans could I get into with that extra time before 9:15 AM that I couldn't get into in 45 minutes? I should also say that being allowed in the building does not mean you will be allowed into the examination room. Despite the fact that the examination regulations specifically state you should arrive half an hour early, you aren't allowed into the room until about 10 minutes before the start of the exam.

6) You can leave to go to the restroom, but you must be escorted and you can NOT leave during the first half an hour or last half an hour of the exam. I get the escort thing. That makes sense to me. But what is with these half hour rules on either end? It's like not being allowed in the building: what am I going to do in those periods of time that I can't do in the other hour or more of the exam period? This also means that theoretically, if I finished my exam 35 minutes early, I suppose I could hand it in and leave (ha-as if I would actually finish early) but if I finished it 29 minutes early, I would just have to sit there for another 29 minutes.

7) And finally, I share with you my favorite regulation of all. We are allowed to have water, but it must be in clear water bottles with no labels on them. If you show up with a bottle with a label on it, you will be asked to tear the label off. I don't even want to know what would happen if you show up with a reusable water bottle such as a Nalgene that is colored and has the brand-name on it. Again, this would seem logical as a cheating deterrent. BUT (apparently) you can have a packet of tissues. What could you write on a water bottle that you couldn't write on a packet of tissues that is not clear and in fact, does have text (brand name etc.) on it?

These musings are what got me through my nearly month-long exam period (but don't get me started on why the scheduling itself is crazy). I'm sorry if you didn't find them as amusing as I did. My only defense...you could have stopped reading (but I'm glad you didn't).


*I started this post on Tuesday 25 June on the day that I took my last exam. But then I realized I was too tired to finish it and went to bed. Sorry for the 24 hour delay. :)