Monday, April 22, 2013

Home is...not London


A fair number of you know I’m thinking this so I’m just going to go ahead and say it…I want to go home. That’s right, I want to go home. Don’t get me wrong or anything, London is great and I’m still glad that I came here. And, yes, I’ve had some wonderful opportunities, etc., etc. But London isn’t home. Even after I have been here for (very nearly) seven months and I am NOT a tourist, thank you very much, it’s still not home.

I miss my parents. I miss having a conversation with them without scheduling a time to skype and without being interrupted every 10 minutes (on a good day, more like 30 seconds on a bad day) by my decidedly sub-par internet connection. I miss talking to them every day even when I don’t have anything to say. I miss going out on our boat as a family and playing cards together (and trying to avoid being the "biggest loser"). I miss my dog, Liesl. She is a stinker, but she is my little stinker. I miss her wet nose and floppy ears and short little tail. I miss how her whole body shakes when she wags her tail and how she manages to hog the (full-size) bed at night (despite her small size).

I miss my friends. People who I can just talk to and who completely understand me. People who I understand. People who can finish my sentences and I theirs. (Granted, not all of said people are in Poulsbo, but I miss them all the same.) Yeah, I miss you Allison and Sam and Kariann. And I miss “my kids.” Okay, they’re not really my kids, but I miss Karlina and Calvin. When I left, they had just turned 5 and 1 respectively. Do you know how much kids change in 7 months?!!? I do! Karlina is learning to read (and doing really well) and Calvin has learned to walk and talk since I’ve been away (and yes, he has learned to say Abbey and makes my year every time I hear him say it on Skype).

I miss hugs.* I miss my family and friends and my church (even though I found a great church here too). I miss familiarity. I miss good internet! Everything is just a little bit harder in another country, even an English-speaking one. And it all adds up to the point where every day it feels like I’m fighting something (mostly my internet or dirty kitchen). And I’m tired of fighting. Don’t worry, I’m not giving up. I still have 5 more months and I will continue to fight (and Mr. internet, I WILL win!). But I am finally more than half way through my time here!  

This is the longest I have ever gone without going home or seeing my parents in person. So I’m probably more homesick than I have ever been (although it is a different kind of homesick than when I was six and couldn’t go away from home for one night). Since I wanted to use this blog to tell you what my time in London is like, I felt like it wouldn’t be honest if I never shared these thoughts. Because even though things are great here and I still have wonderful opportunities, I do think a lot about home. So, I’ve decided to lay all my cards on the table and tell you honestly, I want to go home.

*A note about hugs: if anyone else is feeling like they need a hug, I suggest you check out this page. It made me smile. :)

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