Reflections on the Anniversary of the 2013 Pilgrimage (Or, that time I walked around the English countryside for 4 days)

Hello again!

I really did have the best intensions about writing more blog posts after I returned home! I was going to update you on all the things about which I neglected to write when they happened. Clearly, the best intensions didn't translate into the best blog posts. Oops! Sorry! But I've been thinking a lot about England this week so I thought it was about time to share with you all one of those cool experiences that I didn't get around to writing about earlier.

This weekend is the anniversary of the 2013 Pilgrimage from London to Canterbury. In fact, roughly 75-100 people are currently walking across southern England on this year's Pilgrimage and while I'm excited for them, I am also insanely jealous and sad that I can't be there. So since I can't be there, I decided that rather than (or perhaps, more accurately, in addition to) being sad, I would tell you all about the amazing time I had last year.

The London to Canterbury Pilgrimage is an event that happens every year and is organized by the Connection at St. Martin in the Fields. The Connection is a charity that works with and helps the homeless in London. They have long been associated with the church that I used to attend, St. Martin in the Fields and it is through St. Martin's that I learned about the Connection and the Pilgrimage. The Pilgrimage is one way for the Connection to raise money for their work--the participants get sponsors and all the money goes towards helping the London homeless. Last year, I decided to go on the Pilgrimage because it raises money for a good cause and I thought that it would be a unique way to see some of the  English countryside that I wouldn't have otherwise experienced. And that is how I found myself walking across England for 4 days (between 16 and 20 miles per day) and a total of 74 miles (although sadly, I was only able to walk about 56 of them, for reasons I will explain later), resulting in one of the best (and most painful) long weekends of my entire life! Below are the highlights from that fantastic weekend!

Day 1, Friday May 24, 2013: 
Each year, the Pilgrimage begins on a Friday and the pilgrims leave from the steps of St. Martin in the Fields in Central London. This was one of my favorite things about the weekend--we literally walked from Central London (Trafalgar Square) to Canterbury Cathedral. That first day was almost entirely spent in the city, but it was amazing to see our surroundings change from the bustle of Central London to the slightly slower pace of the edges of the city, and then to the suburbs and finally, right at the end of the day, briefly into the countryside. It was very powerful to slowly walk out of the city until the sounds of the cars, trains, and people faded away.

That first day was overcast and rainy. I had, of course, brought a raincoat, but quickly learned that it was not actually waterproof! Next time, I will be better prepared! By the end of the day, my feet were incredibly sore (I would say something like killing me, but as I learned, the pain can get worse so I can't use that description just yet) from walking with the wrong shoes (hiking boots) on the pavement and I was soaked to the skin (literally) from the rain. But let me tell you, I have never appreciated a bowl of hot soup as much as I did that day at our lunch stop!

While wonderful, that wet and painful day was the start of a rough weekend physically. My feet were hurting quite a bit by the end of the day so I talked to one of the podiatrists that were along with us that evening. (For the record, I had never seen a podiatrist before, but I saw them multiple times a day for four days that weekend! Their help was invaluable!) They gave me some insoles for my boots which really seemed to help at first. However, my theory is that they subtly changed how I was walking which made other parts of my feet and legs hurt, which then led to more subconscious adjustments until, by the end of the weekend I was a complete mess. Just so you understand, I in no way blame the podiatrists for this! No, my boots (which I discarded after the weekend) and my lack of preparation are completely to blame and indeed, the podiatrists became some of my favorite people that weekend--patching us all up so we could keep walking! But I wanted to set the stage for why I had so many problems with my feet and legs over the course of the weekend.

That night we slept on the floor of a small church somewhere in England. I'm not going to lie, it was one of the worst nights ever! I was using a new sleeping bag and was cold for much of the night. But I couldn't put on my sweatshirt because it was still wet from the rain that day. To make matters worse, whenever I would curl up in a ball to stay warm, my side would hurt from the hard floor. Not fun. And yet, when I look back on the weekend, I have absolutely no regrets! The lack of sleep and less than 5-star sleeping conditions made it even more fun, I think!

Ready to go to Canterbury!

Leaving St. Martin's

The view of St. Paul's Cathedral

The Shard up close (keep this in mind for later)

Seems appropriate! 

Day 2, Saturday May 25:
This was one of my favorite days (although really, they were all great) and also one of the low points of the weekend. I'll start with the low point. Although I was feeling much better in the morning after some sleep, as the day went on, I found myself in more and more pain. My feet were aching and each step became more painful. Towards the end of the day, I had to make the hardest decision of the weekend. I decided that I wouldn't be able to walk the entire way to Canterbury. I knew that if I kept walking through the pain, I risked not being able to walk into Canterbury on Monday which was incredibly important to me. But the thought of not successfully walking the entire way broke my heart. I felt like a failure (not because of what anyone else said or did--they were wonderfully supportive--but because of my own expectations for myself). Anyway, I finally broke down (both figuratively and literally crying), and admitted to myself and everyone else that I wouldn't make it and asked to get a ride rather than walking the last 3 miles that day. I was hoping that by taking a little bit of a break, I would be able to walk more in the long run. That was definitely the low point of the weekend.

But that day also had some incredible highs! We were walking in the countryside and for the first time we were walking through valleys where we could no longer hear the cars and the bustle of 21st century life. But the best part of the day was when we finally got to the top of a particularly long hill. After two days of walking, when we looked back the way we had come, we could see London in the distance! On the horizon we could see several of the tallest buildings and could distinctly see the new Shard. It was amazing to clearly see exactly how far we had come in two days. And to look back at a building that was now barely visible and that had towered above us only the morning before!

That night we slept at a priory. I loved how each place we stayed was so different from the one before! And luckily, I learned how to double up on sleeping pads so I had a much better night! The other highlight of the day was a massage from Gabby the massage therapist that night! She was another of my favorite people! I felt so much better that night!

As we were walking, I suddenly looked up and saw this, the first of many fields of yellow! 

Just a gorgeous day for walking in England 

I loved this path that we took through the field

A farm

The scenery over the 4 days was so varied--city, rolling hills, farms, woods--it was awesome!

If you look closely, in the background you can see London! Directly between the two people in the center of the picture is the Shard! No wonder my feet were hurting after walking all that way!

Day 3, Sunday May 26:

On this day, I walked all but about the last 7 miles. Once again, I had decided that if I stopped early, I had a chance of walking into Canterbury the next day. And this time, it was much less emotionally draining to stop. I was able to focus on taking care of my physical well-being and listening to my body. Actually, stopping was one of the high points of this day. I stopped early enough that I got to see all of the hard work that goes into setting up a new place for the walkers to stop! The support team was fantastic and they did so much work that I hadn't seen as a walker. They had to pack up and move all the food, medical supplies, and other necessities and take it all (along with the walkers' luggage) to the next location and unpack it all, all before the walkers arrived exhausted and ready for tea and refreshments. Getting to see all of that behind-the-scenes work was a real blessing. 

And again, I got first-hand experience of how wonderful the podiatrists, massage therapist Gabby, and nurse Fiona were! They all became my new best friends! Supporting me emotionally while also helping to patch me up so I could walk more! The support team never made me feel like a failure for not making it the whole way. Rather they helped me see how important it was to do what was right for me and made me feel amazing for walking as much as I did! 

That night we slept in several different places around this small town. I was with most of the other women in a refurbished barn belonging to a quaint little church. This was probably the best night sleep I had all weekend! 

Still loving the scenery! I couldn't take enough pictures!

A bend in the road

Suddenly felt like I was in Italy

The little church whose barn we slept in that night

Day 4, Monday May 27: Arrival in Canterbury:

This was another amazing day! Physically draining, but emotionally exhilarating! I skipped the first 6 miles that day so that I would be able to walk into Canterbury that afternoon, which I did successfully! I was so glad that I made the effort to walk that day. We walked through the woods and saw thousands of bluebells! Normally they would have bloomed earlier and we would have missed them, but that year we had a late spring and I was so glad. They were gorgeous! 

And it was from the woods that we got our first glimpse of of Canterbury Cathedral! It was in the distance, still about 10 miles off, but it was visible! Our goal was in sight! It was such a nice compliment to seeing London on Day 2. 

A little while later, we arrived at the tea stop for the day (yep, we were in England, we had tea stops). Normally these were cause enough for celebration because we got to rest for a bit, but on this day it was a particular highlight! I still remember walking up to the little church we were stopping at and as we arrived, Fiona (the nurse who was also my new best friend, if you recall) started clapping since I had made it that far! She knew the pain I was in and her support was so uplifting! And I knew that the next time I saw her, I would be in Canterbury! 

Walking into Canterbury turned out to be even more amazing than I had imagined it would be! I don't think I will ever forget that day. One of the funniest parts of the day was walking through Canterbury. We had been surrounded for days by people associated with the Pilgrimage and this was the first time we were around dozens of people who didn't know what we were doing. Walking through the town, all I could think was, "you guys don't realize what we've just done! We've just walked here! From London! Why aren't you impressed?!" The plan was for all the groups (there were about 10 groups that were divided by walking speed and I was in one of the slowest/steady groups) to meet at the Friends Meeting House before going to the Cathedral together. When we arrived at the Meeting House, everyone except about 8 people in the last group was already there and some people had even travelled from London to meet us! Walking up to the building and having about 100 people start clapping because we made it was fantastic! I started crying almost immediately. 

After a little rest and some refreshments at the Meeting House, we all gathered together and walked to the Cathedral! Let me tell you, I have never been more excited to see a Cathedral in my entire life! It was amazing to finally get to the goal we had been struggling toward all weekend! We had a short service at the Cathedral where the St. Martin's choir had come to sing with us! It was fantastic! After that we all boarded buses and headed back to Central London. It was so funny that it took us four days to walk one way and less than two hours to drive back! 

The bluebells in the woods! 

A bit blurry, but you get an idea of how beautiful it was!

The first view of Canterbury in the distance! Hard to see, but trust me it was there! 

Getting closer! You can see the Cathedral over the trees!

We did it! Celebrating at the Cathedral!

All in all, it was absolutely one of the most fantastic weekends of my entire life! Despite the pain and the 12 blisters (I won the blister competition by a long shot and I figure if I had to have blisters, I might as well win) I have amazing memories of that weekend! And I can't wait to do it again some day! 

To be honest, I don't think this post does justice to just how awesome that experience was--sometimes I just can't find the right words. But at least you have some idea now. Thanks for reading! 

London Reflections: Leaving Home

Hello all!

I know I had promised you a bunch of updates, and I am still hoping to write them. Don't worry, I want to share my stories of walking 74 miles to Canterbury, seeing royals, and finishing (!) my dissertation with you (probably more than you actually want to read them, as a matter of fact). But today, it is time for a post reflecting on this amazing year so those other ones will have to wait. 

In less than 24 hours my parents will be arriving at Heathrow airport. It will be the first time that I have seen them in nearly a year (okay, 11 months, but who's counting) so of course, I am incredibly excited! We are going to tour around the UK for 2 weeks together and I will get to show them all the places that have been so special to me! But their imminent arrival is also bringing up some rather mixed feelings that I was completely unprepared for. You see, when I meet them at Heathrow tomorrow, I am essentially leaving London. Sure we will be back for a few days at the end of the two weeks together before they head home and I head home via a two week tour of Central and Eastern Europe (that will be another blog post or two). But when we are back for those three days, I'm going to be exactly what I have been trying to avoid all year...I'm going to be...[cue ominous music] a tourist. Eek! I'm getting around it by saying that I will really be their tour guide, but I know that those three days will have a very different feel to them than the last year. So even though I'm not leaving the country for another two weeks and even though it will be nearly a month until I get home, I feel like I'm leaving tomorrow. And I have a lot of feelings about that.

A few months ago, I was feeling rather homesick and I wrote a post called "Home is...not London." I meant it at the time, I really did. But since then, I've realized I was wrong. Or maybe it would be better to say I was not wrong at the time, but the sentiment is no longer applicable.

You all know that I've been going to St. Martin in the Fields for church on Sundays and I think I have told you about the group of young adults (20s, 30s, +) called Open Circle (formerly Twirties) that I have been a part of and loved. About a month ago, one of the priests at St. Martin's, Katherine (who also helps with Open Circle), sent me an email asking when I was leaving. Bless her heart, she wanted to make sure I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye (as if I could have actually left St. Martin's without the long, drawn out goodbyes that took place last Sunday). And this email got me thinking. Thinking about leaving. And I realized how quickly the year had gone and how near the end of my time here was.

It was around that time that I realized something else. Something that I wasn't prepared for at all. I realized that I didn't really want to leave. I realized that even though I do want to go home and see my family and friends, I didn't want to leave my friends here and my St. Martin's family. And most startling of all, I realized that somewhere along the way, in between the classes and papers and exams and site seeing and friends and walking all over the English countryside, London had actually become home. So on September 21st, I'm not just going home...I'm leaving home too.

Perhaps you can imagine all the mixed feelings that realization brought (and those feelings haven't gone away). I'm excited and disappointed, happy and sad, nervous and more confident, and a bunch of other things I can't even identify, all at the same time. But perhaps, more than anything, I am reflective. So I want to share that with you.

I wasn't expecting this. It snuck up on me. I have been (literally) dreaming of home for so long, I didn't notice that this had become a home too. I didn't realize how hard it would be to leave. In fact, one night a few weeks ago, after a lovely evening celebrating a friend's birthday with some of the Open Circle gang, I came home and cried. I cried that I had to leave this place and these people. Even as I am excited to see my parents tomorrow and my friends back home in a few weeks, I'm sad.

I knew that some day, I would look back on this year and my experiences in London and all the problems would melt away. Either I would forget the roommate and computer and kitchen stuff, or it would fade into the background and what I would really remember would be the good times. I knew those issues would seem insignificant someday. That if I thought about them at all, I would be able to smile and see them as a time of growth. What I didn't realize is that that day would come even before I left London.

It has been a truly incredible year. Right up there with the best times of my life. St. Martins, New Years Eve in Parliament Square, Scotland and the Lake District, Royal sitings, the pilgrimage to Canterbury. These are things I will never forget. Experiences that have shaped who I am now. Because I'm not the same as that scared, relient-on-parents, kid that I was a year ago. I'm more self-sufficient. I'm more confident. I have a better understanding of different cultures and perspectives and world-views. And that is just some of the stuff that I got outside of the classroom. I won't bore you will all the things I learned in the classroom. I know myself better now, and I think I'm better for these changes.

I've been thinking a lot about what I'm looking forward to and what I'll miss. Most of all, I'm looking forward to seeing my parents and family and friends. I'm looking forward to full-size refrigerators, Skippy peanut butter, and gallons of milk. I'm looking forward to seeing my St. Barnabas family. I'm looking forward to mountains and water and boats. But I will miss a lot too. I think most of all I'll miss St. Martin's and Open Circle. As a matter of fact, I have told the Open Circle group that I blame them for the fact that leaving is so hard. It would have been a lot easier to leave if it weren't for them. I'll miss easy (if not always comfortable) public transportation. I'll miss being able to pop down to the store that is an approximately 30 second walk away to pick up milk. I'll miss the English accents and phrases (some of which I will bring back with me). I'll miss Parliament. I'll miss the freedom and confidence that comes with surviving and living and thriving in a foreign country. But I think that is the best thing about this entire year. Those things about London that are most important to me--the friends and the memories and the confidence that I gained--I won't lose them. And for that, I am very grateful.

Honestly, I'm feeling a lot of other things right now that I don't think I can even put into words. Maybe someday I will find the words to express how it feels to be both going home and leaving home at the same time. But for now, I want to say thank you. Thank you to all of you who have come on this adventure with me. Who have supported me and followed me here and on Facebook. Knowing that you care has meant the world to me. Thank you to my professors at F&M who gave me the knowledge and skills to make it through a year at LSE. Thank you to my parents who made my dreams come true. In so many ways I wouldn't be here without them. And thank you, London. Thank you for letting me in and teaching me. Thank you for making me a better, more complete, person. Thank you for surprising me everyday. And thank you for becoming home.

Adventures with Sam

Well, in an effort to catch you all up on what I've been doing over the past few months, I thought I would tell you about some of the most fun I've had this year--the adventures I have had with one of my best friends (yes, you can have more than one), Sam. Sam was one of my lovely roommates at F&M and luckily for me, she spent part of the last year in France teaching English. I say luckily for me because that meant that I got to see her and when we couldn't be together, we were at least in similar time zones making internet-based communications that much better and more satisfying. We had two really cool adventures together that I want to share with you.

The first was the day we met in Bath for more laughs than I had had in months! This was the first time I had returned to Bath since I studied there three years ago. It was really special for me to return to this place that had changed my life in so many ways! It was in Bath that I first learned about British Politics. I can say with some confidence that if it weren't for that study trip during the summer of 2010, I wouldn't be in London now! What made this return even more special was that I got to share it with my friend who hadn't been there before (well, she had been there on her own the day before, but let's just put that aside for now).

We packed so much sight-seeing, laughing, talking, and good times into that one day in March! As we are both big Jane Austen fans, the first priority was getting to the Jane Austen Centre on Queen Square (which is coincidently very near the place I stayed on my first-ever night in Bath). The staff there were great, but I don't even know if their wonderful explanations of the life of Jane were really necessary with Sam there--she was answering all their (usually rhetorical?) questions! We had a blast looking around and even trying on some dresses (I know, me in a dress! Doesn't happen very often, but I will do it for Sam and Jane). But my favorite was sitting at the old writing desk they had and practicing with the quill and ink they supplied!

Next, we continued our Jane Austen-themed tour of Bath with a walk up past the Circus to the Royal Crescent. Now I like the Crescent, but apparently Sam is not a fan. Regardless, the real reason we went up there was to travel the path that leads down behind the Circus and back into town. This path was a favorite of Austen's and was featured at the end of Persuasion (one of her best novels in my opinion). Sam and I ambled along "the comparatively quiet and retired gravel walk" twice that day! In fact, I do believe that path is one of my favorite places in England and perhaps the world.

Of course, any trip to Bath is incomplete without tea in the Pump Room! For those of you who don't know the Pump Room is so-called because it houses the pump/fountain from which one can drink the healing waters (although a classic activity, I can't go so far as to recommend this warm and salty water).  Sam and I loved the tea, scones, and little deserts they give you! We were further amazed at all the people who didn't finish their food or drinks (don't worry, we resisted the urge to offer our services (read: stomachs) to help them).

After a lovely tea we explored a few other Jane Austen-related sights before heading to the train station for a much more difficult than anticipated goodbye. It was so hard to go back to London that night! But I am so glad that I got to spend that amazing day with my best friend, in one of my favorite places, following in the footsteps of one of our favorite authors! I was reminded that day of the importance of good friends who really know and understand you! Just being able to talk and not have to explain myself or worry if she was misinterpreting what I was saying was wonderful! And laughing so much my face hurt was pretty great too!

Luckily our parting would not last long. A few weeks later, I went to France on the Eurostar (train) to stay with Sam for the long weekend around Easter. Actually, this trip turned into more of an adventure than I bargained for. It is a long story, but suffice it to say, I missed my connecting train in Paris (not my fault) and got a bit stuck there. It was only after several panicked calls to my parents (isn't that what every parent wants--a call from their daughter in tears in another country?) in the States that I was able to get my credit card to work to get another ticket and finally get to Grenoble, where Sam was living. I'm not going to lie, there were a few minutes when I was wondering if going to France was worth it.

But don't worry, I made it to Grenoble and everything was better when I was with Sam (it didn't hurt that she actually speaks more than the two words of French I know). And things got even better when we began sampling the first of many yummy, fresh, French pastries (I mean, really, who needs other types of food?)! The next day we went on these tiny gondolas up on one of the hills around Grenoble to visit the Bastille. It was a rather overcast day, but it was wonderful to see the city from above! You can tell that Grenoble really is a city in the valley.

Perhaps the highlight of the weekend was Easter itself. We decided to sleep in and when I woke up, the Easter bunny had even managed to find me in France (with some serious help from Sam who gave me a chocolate bunny)! Not only that, but Sam shared her very special Easter basket/box from her grandmother with me! We then proceeded to MacGyver one of the best Easter dinners I have ever had (okay, part of what made it great was that we made it by ourselves with limited money and supplies in France). We had ham, green beans, roasted carrots with a sauce Sam made, French bread, and the hero of the meal: the special mustard sauce! Now, you have to understand, this mustard sauce is very important to me. My Mom makes it on holidays and it is so wonderful! It is an easy recipe, but we couldn't find all the correct ingredients/didn't want to buy a lot of an ingredient that Sam wouldn't use later. So we made substitutions and we made additions. When I told my Mom what we did, she was skeptical, but let me tell you, it turned out spectacularly! As good I as remembered! And Sam liked it too! We topped off the day with an Easter egg hunt via Skype with Sam's family!

The Mustard Sauce is working! 

Seriously, look at the awesome meal we made! I want to eat it again! Now!

Finally, on my last day in France, Sam took me to a beautiful Chateau a few towns over. It looked like something out of Beauty and the Beast! Even better, it had the most lovely park and nature preserve. We took a picnic lunch and just enjoyed the scenery!

In the end, the trip was definitely worth the money, time, and panic attack in Paris! Once again, I had a blast with my Best! We got to spend an entire weekend talking, laughing, watching movies, and eating! Just the memory is making me hungry! Thanks for the adventures Sam! Can't wait to have more of them with you back in the States!

Exam nonsense

Hi again!

I know. You all were wondering if I was still alive. Well, wonder no more, I am indeed still alive! Even better...I'm still alive after my exams! I am very sorry for my negligence in updating you about my life here in London. I suppose I would feel less guilty if I could honestly say I haven't done anything interesting or I have been simply too busy to write. I have been busy, but I should have made time to blog. But never fear because my time away from blogging has made me miss it, which is great news for anyone who actually cares to read my blog. In all the time that I spent day-dreaming about not studying for exams (instead of actually, you know, studying) I have planned a number of posts that I want to share with you. So stay tuned over the next few weeks and hopefully I will make up for my horrid blogging practices of the past!

Today* I reached a very important milestone in the life of any student. I FINISHED MY EXAMS!!!!! Now, before we are all carried away with excitement, I should clarify that this does not (sadly) mean that I'm actually done with my degree. In fact, I still have to write my dissertation which is kind of important. But that is a concern for tomorrow. Today, I'm celebrating because I FINISHED MY EXAMS! Other graduate students may celebrate by going out and doing all sorts of things that one shouldn't post on a blog for the world (of parents and future employers) to see. But me, my celebration techniques are entirely G-rated, so I can share. My celebration consisted of lunch with a few friends before coming back to my (mercifully empty this week) room, watching some movies (note to everyone: don't watch Eat Pray Love unless you are prepared to crave Italian food for the rest of the night), having a low key dinner of frozen pizza and writing to you! And boy, was that an awesome way to spend a day!

To continue the celebration, I have decided to share with you my musings about exams at LSE. In other words, I have decided to share with you the things about LSE exams that I find amusing...the light side of graduate exams, if you will. See amid all the stress of exams that count for MY ENTIRE GRADE for those classes (but don't get me started on that and why that is a horrible idea), LSE apparently decided that they would cheer me up with all sorts of regulations that I find really amusing (if not outright funny). Now I should say, that I found these tidbits amusing when I was in the grips of exam stress-induced delirium (in other words, my sense of funny might have been rather skewed). So I can't actually promise you will find the rest of this post amusing, but I wanted to share it anyway.

Before I continue, I should say that LSE (and, I understand, UK schools in general) makes a huge effort to ensure fairness and as much objectivity as possible with exams and other graded work. And I applaud their efforts. To give you an EXAMple (haha), our names are not on any of our exam papers (in other words, our papers can not be associated with us by the graders) and each paper is graded by a minimum of two professors. They must agree on the grade and if they fail to agree, or the grade is particularly high (they don't like giving high grades it seems), or the grade is particularly low, etc. a third reader must be involved. No wonder I won't get my preliminary (that's right, not even final) grades for months! But I digress.

I should also make it very clear that these regulations are designed to limit/prevent cheating. While I will be pointing out some flaws with these plans, it is very important to me that you know I would NEVER consider cheating. NEVER! (Just ask my parents who never had to worry about me doing something bad and then hiding it because I would feel so guilty I would confess my doings to them anyway.) Without further ado, I give you my commentary on LSE exam practices...

1) What allows the objectivity of the graders is something called a candidate number. Each student is assigned a candidate number (which is different from their student identification number) and it is this number that goes on our exam papers. I tell you this as preface to the first amusing exam regulation. See, we are required to bring with us, to every exam, our student ID (with our picture and student number but not our candidate number) and a print out (with no markings whatsoever) of a page with our candidate number and exam timetable (i.e. schedule) on it. These two things are checked during every exam (interestingly, not before one begins) to ensure that everyone is supposed to be there and taking that particular exam. That would all make a lot of sense to me--the need for identification is, by itself, unsurprising and not particularly amusing. No, what I find amusing is that there is nothing (as far as I can tell, and believe me, I have looked) that tie those two forms of identification together. Yes, my student ID proves that I am Abigail and that I am an LSE student. And the printout proves that someone with candidate number XXXXX is scheduled to take exam Y. But my question is, what proves that this LSE student with this valid id is the person with that candidate number?? I mean, the two documents prove that I am me and that said candidate is supposed to take said exam, but they don't prove that I am the candidate that is supposed to take said exam!

2) In every classroom in which exams take place, the usual desks are removed and replaced with folding, individual-sized tables (that remind me a lot of the dinner trays we have at my house only bigger) and different chairs than are usually in the room. Now, I get it. I understand the reasoning. The idea is to separate us so that we can be monitored easily and effectively and to ensure that we don't cheat. But here's the problem with this method: a good half (okay, I'm totally guessing here, but it seems like at least half) of the folding exam tables wobble like crazy! So they have to fold up extra exam booklets to put under one or more of the legs so that we have something resembling a steady table to write our essays on. And the tables still wobble! Because when we are taking two-hour exams, trying to remember all the stuff we crammed in our heads, scribbling in an effort to get everything on paper in time, and all the while remembering that these things count for 100% of our grade, clearly, everyone also wants to be worrying about/dealing with desks that don't stand still!

3) While we're on the subject of seating arrangements...in any given examination room, there may be multiple exams going on at one time (I have seen up to six different exams taking place in one room). Now, perhaps to those of you not suffering from exam-induced craziness (as am I) this makes perfect sense. After all, it is reasonable to use all available space. BUT, there are two aspects that make this worthy of blog space. First, not everyone who is taking exam X will be together in room Y. Meaning that, in my experience, in a class of 30 people, we will be spread over at least 2 different rooms (more if the class is larger). Again, you might say, well this is to limit the possibilities for cheating. To which I say, sure, but those of us taking exam X in room A are all seated together in a group (and further, we know which room and seat we will be in weeks ahead of time). Second, and more amusing/confusing, I have in fact seen exams that are different lengths take place in the same room! This means that there are still people writing when others are leaving the room with all the chair-scraping, jacket-flapping, and other noise-making that entails. Those poor people who still had time to write!

4) This one is one of my favorites. Phones must be off and under your desk. That means, not in your bag which must be left at the front of your room, but actually within reach, under your desk. The reason for this became clear when someone's phone started ringing, but it was in the bag (breaking two rules at once) and therefore no one could stop it. But still. The fact that you actually have to keep your phone with you strikes me as backwards and inviting trouble.

5) Apparently, you are not allowed to even enter the building in which your exam takes place until 45 minutes prior to the start of the exam. When I arrived early for my 10 AM exams, I was told I had to wait outside until 9:15. I ask you, what sort of shenanigans could I get into with that extra time before 9:15 AM that I couldn't get into in 45 minutes? I should also say that being allowed in the building does not mean you will be allowed into the examination room. Despite the fact that the examination regulations specifically state you should arrive half an hour early, you aren't allowed into the room until about 10 minutes before the start of the exam.

6) You can leave to go to the restroom, but you must be escorted and you can NOT leave during the first half an hour or last half an hour of the exam. I get the escort thing. That makes sense to me. But what is with these half hour rules on either end? It's like not being allowed in the building: what am I going to do in those periods of time that I can't do in the other hour or more of the exam period? This also means that theoretically, if I finished my exam 35 minutes early, I suppose I could hand it in and leave (ha-as if I would actually finish early) but if I finished it 29 minutes early, I would just have to sit there for another 29 minutes.

7) And finally, I share with you my favorite regulation of all. We are allowed to have water, but it must be in clear water bottles with no labels on them. If you show up with a bottle with a label on it, you will be asked to tear the label off. I don't even want to know what would happen if you show up with a reusable water bottle such as a Nalgene that is colored and has the brand-name on it. Again, this would seem logical as a cheating deterrent. BUT (apparently) you can have a packet of tissues. What could you write on a water bottle that you couldn't write on a packet of tissues that is not clear and in fact, does have text (brand name etc.) on it?

These musings are what got me through my nearly month-long exam period (but don't get me started on why the scheduling itself is crazy). I'm sorry if you didn't find them as amusing as I did. My only defense...you could have stopped reading (but I'm glad you didn't).


*I started this post on Tuesday 25 June on the day that I took my last exam. But then I realized I was too tired to finish it and went to bed. Sorry for the 24 hour delay. :)

Home is...not London

A fair number of you know I’m thinking this so I’m just going to go ahead and say it…I want to go home. That’s right, I want to go home. Don’t get me wrong or anything, London is great and I’m still glad that I came here. And, yes, I’ve had some wonderful opportunities, etc., etc. But London isn’t home. Even after I have been here for (very nearly) seven months and I am NOT a tourist, thank you very much, it’s still not home.

I miss my parents. I miss having a conversation with them without scheduling a time to skype and without being interrupted every 10 minutes (on a good day, more like 30 seconds on a bad day) by my decidedly sub-par internet connection. I miss talking to them every day even when I don’t have anything to say. I miss going out on our boat as a family and playing cards together (and trying to avoid being the "biggest loser"). I miss my dog, Liesl. She is a stinker, but she is my little stinker. I miss her wet nose and floppy ears and short little tail. I miss how her whole body shakes when she wags her tail and how she manages to hog the (full-size) bed at night (despite her small size).

I miss my friends. People who I can just talk to and who completely understand me. People who I understand. People who can finish my sentences and I theirs. (Granted, not all of said people are in Poulsbo, but I miss them all the same.) Yeah, I miss you Allison and Sam and Kariann. And I miss “my kids.” Okay, they’re not really my kids, but I miss Karlina and Calvin. When I left, they had just turned 5 and 1 respectively. Do you know how much kids change in 7 months?!!? I do! Karlina is learning to read (and doing really well) and Calvin has learned to walk and talk since I’ve been away (and yes, he has learned to say Abbey and makes my year every time I hear him say it on Skype).

I miss hugs.* I miss my family and friends and my church (even though I found a great church here too). I miss familiarity. I miss good internet! Everything is just a little bit harder in another country, even an English-speaking one. And it all adds up to the point where every day it feels like I’m fighting something (mostly my internet or dirty kitchen). And I’m tired of fighting. Don’t worry, I’m not giving up. I still have 5 more months and I will continue to fight (and Mr. internet, I WILL win!). But I am finally more than half way through my time here!  

This is the longest I have ever gone without going home or seeing my parents in person. So I’m probably more homesick than I have ever been (although it is a different kind of homesick than when I was six and couldn’t go away from home for one night). Since I wanted to use this blog to tell you what my time in London is like, I felt like it wouldn’t be honest if I never shared these thoughts. Because even though things are great here and I still have wonderful opportunities, I do think a lot about home. So, I’ve decided to lay all my cards on the table and tell you honestly, I want to go home.

*A note about hugs: if anyone else is feeling like they need a hug, I suggest you check out this page. It made me smile. :)

Thoughts on the Iron Lady

Hello all!

I am sorry it has been so long since I last posted. These posts take me a while to write so sometimes I put off writing them, but then I just have more to say so they take even longer--vicious procrastination cycle (you'd think I would learn). I know I owe you some posts (I think at least two) about my latest adventures. And I promise I will write them soon. In fact, I was going to write one today, but current events made me change my mind. Instead, I want to share some of my thoughts from today.

If you haven't heard, Baroness Margaret Thatcher died today. She was leader of the Conservative Party in Britain and the first female Prime Minister (PM) here. (She was also played by Meryl Streep--who is great--in The Iron Lady, which is a movie I recommend.) She was an extremely polarizing figure, even today, in Britain. People either loved her or hated her for her politics and policies (we'll come back to this in a minute). It is truly amazing to me how long her shadow is, if you will. People who weren't even born yet when she was PM feel so strongly about her.

Her death hit me in a way I wouldn't have expected. After all, I'm not British. I'm not affected by the aftermath of her policies (unless you count her influence on/professional relationship with Reagan). I didn't know her personally (although that would have been cool). Maybe it is simply because I'm interested in British politics and she was an influential British PM, although I think it is more than that. For whatever reason, I'm feeling her death more than I thought I would (not that I previously contemplated how I would feel when she died, because I didn't). You may, understandably, ask what I'm feeling that was so unexpected. The truth is, I'm not sure how to describe it. I've just been thinking about her all afternoon. So I want to share some of those thoughts.

Let me back up a bit. I was getting ready to go for a training hike (I'm going on a four day hiking trip in May-I'll tell you more later) this afternoon. Just before I left, I checked email and Facebook and something on Facebook caught my eye. The European Parliament (yes, I'm a geek and follow the EP on Facebook) posed something about a tribute to Thatcher and mentioned she had died. I was shocked and checked the BBC website. Sure enough, news had just broken of her death following a stroke. I almost immediately left for my hike, but in a very different state of mind. My hike was to take me along the Mall, past Buckingham Palace and around Hyde Park, but I didn't get that far.

See my thoughts were on Thatcher so as I walked past St. James Park, I instinctively looked back towards Parliament, which can be seen from the Mall at certain points. As I walked, I noticed that the flag flying over Parliament was still all the way up and I sort of wondered when they would lower it to half mast, as I thought they surely would after Thatcher's death. And then, in the five minutes or so that I walked along the Mall, I kept looking back and suddenly I realized that since I had last looked, they had lowered they flag to half mast. That really struck me. The fact that I had essentially (although not quite) seen the flag lowered over Parliament. So I took a minute to look, but continued on, intending to finish my barely started hike. I only made it to Buckingham Palace before I stopped again. The flag over the Palace had also been lowered. I can't quite describe why, but seeing these flags really meant a lot to me. So I turned around to go back and get my camera to take some pictures of these landmarks with their flags lowered. I wanted to be able to share these images that meant so much to me with you (and I will, but right now my internet is really slow so it will have to wait). I ended up circling around to Parliament Square and just sitting and taking things in.

So what have I been thinking about all afternoon? I've been thinking about this woman who was so influential that within hours of her death, flags were at half mast and memories and condolences were flooding in from literally all around the world. I was thinking about how even though I don't agree with her policies, I respect and admire Mrs. Thatcher. And I would like to tell you why (with the caveat that I don't know that many details about her time as PM and some of what I know, I've gotten from a movie).

First of all, I admire her for being the first female PM. She was a woman in the most powerful position in a field (still) dominated by men. I just think about the dedication and courage that took and I'm grateful to Mrs. Thatcher for showing girls like me it is possible (no I don't want to be a politician, but I look up to women like her). Second, I respect her for doing what she believed to be right for the country. I believe that rational people can disagree about the right course so I don't have to agree with her to respect her for doing what she thought was right. Sometimes it feels like politics is about telling people what they want to hear rather than what one actually thinks. I don't think we can accuse Thatcher of this.

So that is what I was thinking about today (or at least what I remember thinking). But there is one more thing I want to say on the subject. I already said that she was, and remains, a very divisive figure. What has really surprised me today have been some of the reactions I have seen to her death. Some people on Facebook (mostly friends of friends and people commenting on some posts) have said things to the effect that they are celebrating. This really disappoints me. It seems to me that even if we disagree with someone's policies, they are still human; still loved and missed by family and friends. I could understand celebrating when that person with whom you disagree is voted out of office, but celebrating their death seems, to me, to cross a line. I guess I just wanted to share that, for what it is worth.

I suppose I just wanted to share all of this to get it out of my head. I haven't had anyone to talk to today so you guys get to read my thoughts. Sorry. :) I also wanted to write it down so I would remember. I want to remember the way seeing those flags moved me and how I feel influenced by this woman who I will never even meet. And I guess that is the other thing I was thinking about today. Today, I was reminded that, on a much smaller (and hopefully less polarizing) scale, I want to influence and make a difference to the lives of others.

Things I've Learned Part 2

Hello again!

I really had a lot of fun writing the last post where I made it a list of things I have learned (mostly since coming to London, but also just generally over the course of the last few years). I also got some good feedback about it, so at the risk of turning a good thing into a bad one by boring you all, I have decided to do a follow-up with other things that I have learned that I wanted to share with you. I hope you enjoy it and please forgive for being repetitive in terms of the format of the blog. I hope I'm not repeating things I have already told you in previous posts. Again, these things are in no particular order.

1. Peanut butter is really important to me. I have discovered that one never knows what it is about home that one will miss will one ventures abroad. Naturally, you expect to miss your family and friends (and I DO), but I've come to realize there will also be something else (or several somethings)--somthing small that you never thought mattered that much--and you will miss it! For me, it's Skippy creamy peanut butter! Yum! (And a huge thank you to those who have worked to keep me supplied!)

2. On the topic of food, the Brits really need to work on their salad dressing (in my opinion). It is another thing that I have come to (unexpectedly) miss about home.

3. I like editing with a red pen! It started when I was editing my honor's thesis at F&M so that I would be sure not to miss any changes (there were a lot of pages to edit!). But now I always use a red pen to edit and I love it!

4. Politeness is really important to me! One, I think it is important for us all (and I include myself here) to remember to be polite and thank people for the little things they do that make our lives better. But this has been reinforced since I've been here and it seems that a lot of people don't do this (which bugs me). So London, here is a quick lesson: when someone holds a door open for you, say thank you; when you bump into someone, say excuse me; if you need someone to move, say excuse me; etc. Today I held the door open for four people in a row and not one of them said anything. It was a sad commentary on politeness (and even more sad--it's not unusual here). (I should perhaps add that the Brits are known for their politeness and I don't mean to imply that they aren't polite. All I am saying is that in a city [and a university], a lot of these things get lost and it's sad.)

5. I am not going to be a political theorist. I like the political theory classes I took as an undergrad, but it's just not my calling. So, yeah...at least the job market for comparative politics is slightly better than the one for political theory.

6. Apparently, 'classificatory' is a word! Who knew? Obviously not me!

7. In a similar vein to my last point on part 1 of this post (i.e. the last post), I am continually reminded how much I have grown in a short period of time. I went back and reread my posts from my time in Bath and my time a year and a half ago when I was conducting interview with MPs and I am just amazed at the difference between my posts then and now. I think I have improved, but of course, that is for you to say. :)

8. I really care about the EU, to the point that I am the kind of person who will get worked up about it. This is news to me. I never thought I would be like this, but tonight I went to a really interesting panel discussion about the referendum on EU membership that David Cameron has called (don't get me started). One of the audience members, in a 'question', accused the EU of being a dictatorship because of the so-called 'democratic deficit.' I have spent the hour or so since angrily formulating counter arguments. In a nutshell, the EU is democratic (it's called delegation), although it could surely be more so; closed list electoral systems are also democratic; and the European Parliament is far from irrelevant. If you would like the long version, just let me know. :) But seriously, I would love to talk to anyone who is at all interested in the EU and Britain and would like to chat (and as long as you promise not to call the EU a dictatorship, I promise I won't start ranting)!

9. Apparently, I am kind of obsessed with Les Miserables. I never really thought of it this way until someone basically pointed it out and I realized...they were right. I love that show! I have something like three or four different versions of the soundtrack on my iPod right now. To show you exactly how much I love this show, I give you my own rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream":

10. "I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hopes were high and kitchens clean. I dreamed that coming to college/grad school would mean people are mature and responsible...Now life has killed the dream I dreamed"

    -What do you think? If I had more time I would have added verses about clean bathrooms and other things that I thought I would have in my life by now (maybe, I'll keep working on it in my spare time...). If you are at all interested, here is a site with several comics of Les Mis song parodies, relating the songs to graduate school. (Thank you to Allison for showing this to me!) They are great (better than mine) so be sure to click next to see all of them!

    -While I'm partly joking about my love for Les Mis with this post, I am also making a serious point about life that I have learned in the past 5 years. I had this vision (dream) that when I went into higher education, the people would be mature adults who acted responsibly. I thought this would be even more true of graduate school. But what I have learned, what life has taught me, is that being legally an adult in no way signifies that one is mature or responsible. And it is a lesson that is driving me crazy!! I have basically accepted that at (almost) all times except for immediately after the cleaning staff stop by, the kitchen that I share with about 12 others will be dirty because people don't clean up after themselves properly. That is one reason I rarely make much effort with my cooking. (On a related note, custodians who clean up after college students are angels!!! Seriously!!) But the most recent revelation is that people won't take responsibility for closing the refrigerator and freezer doors! I mean, really! The temperature fluctuates wildly (like 15-20 degrees celsius in the worst cases I have seen) because people aren't careful enough to shut the door properly despite repeated notes on the door. I find this annoying as all get out! I no longer trust that my food will be good when I go to eat it (in fact I avoid the freezer as a general rule now). And this, in a nutshell, is why I CAN NOT WAIT for my own place with a kitchen (and bathroom) that I don't have to share and can keep to my level of cleanliness and hygiene without spending my entire life cleaning up after others (which is what my life would be if I even tried to keep the kitchen here up to my standards).

11. On a brighter note, I'm really liking this book: 

It is not always an easy read (I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to understand two chapters on Sunday), but it has quickly become a classic in the political science literature (it was only published in 2002). Honestly, I have seen this book on the shelves of most, if not all, of my poly sci professors and I am so pleased to now have a copy on my shelf too! I feel like a real political scientist now! And I really like it because, unlike some other things I have read for classes, as I read it, I have this palpable sense that this is going to come in handy and apply to a lot of things I will do in the future. 

12. I am also loving feeling more professional with my new briefcase! I was sick of walking around looking like a kid/tourist so I bought a briefcase and I love it! (I would put a picture, but I haven't had a chance to take one in good lighting yet.)

Well I hope you enjoyed part 2! I tried to end with a happy note (it involved some rearranging of the bullet points). I also hope everyone in the Northeast is safe and recovering after the crazy weather!