Home is...not London

A fair number of you know I’m thinking this so I’m just going to go ahead and say it…I want to go home. That’s right, I want to go home. Don’t get me wrong or anything, London is great and I’m still glad that I came here. And, yes, I’ve had some wonderful opportunities, etc., etc. But London isn’t home. Even after I have been here for (very nearly) seven months and I am NOT a tourist, thank you very much, it’s still not home.

I miss my parents. I miss having a conversation with them without scheduling a time to skype and without being interrupted every 10 minutes (on a good day, more like 30 seconds on a bad day) by my decidedly sub-par internet connection. I miss talking to them every day even when I don’t have anything to say. I miss going out on our boat as a family and playing cards together (and trying to avoid being the "biggest loser"). I miss my dog, Liesl. She is a stinker, but she is my little stinker. I miss her wet nose and floppy ears and short little tail. I miss how her whole body shakes when she wags her tail and how she manages to hog the (full-size) bed at night (despite her small size).

I miss my friends. People who I can just talk to and who completely understand me. People who I understand. People who can finish my sentences and I theirs. (Granted, not all of said people are in Poulsbo, but I miss them all the same.) Yeah, I miss you Allison and Sam and Kariann. And I miss “my kids.” Okay, they’re not really my kids, but I miss Karlina and Calvin. When I left, they had just turned 5 and 1 respectively. Do you know how much kids change in 7 months?!!? I do! Karlina is learning to read (and doing really well) and Calvin has learned to walk and talk since I’ve been away (and yes, he has learned to say Abbey and makes my year every time I hear him say it on Skype).

I miss hugs.* I miss my family and friends and my church (even though I found a great church here too). I miss familiarity. I miss good internet! Everything is just a little bit harder in another country, even an English-speaking one. And it all adds up to the point where every day it feels like I’m fighting something (mostly my internet or dirty kitchen). And I’m tired of fighting. Don’t worry, I’m not giving up. I still have 5 more months and I will continue to fight (and Mr. internet, I WILL win!). But I am finally more than half way through my time here!  

This is the longest I have ever gone without going home or seeing my parents in person. So I’m probably more homesick than I have ever been (although it is a different kind of homesick than when I was six and couldn’t go away from home for one night). Since I wanted to use this blog to tell you what my time in London is like, I felt like it wouldn’t be honest if I never shared these thoughts. Because even though things are great here and I still have wonderful opportunities, I do think a lot about home. So, I’ve decided to lay all my cards on the table and tell you honestly, I want to go home.

*A note about hugs: if anyone else is feeling like they need a hug, I suggest you check out this page. It made me smile. :)

Thoughts on the Iron Lady

Hello all!

I am sorry it has been so long since I last posted. These posts take me a while to write so sometimes I put off writing them, but then I just have more to say so they take even longer--vicious procrastination cycle (you'd think I would learn). I know I owe you some posts (I think at least two) about my latest adventures. And I promise I will write them soon. In fact, I was going to write one today, but current events made me change my mind. Instead, I want to share some of my thoughts from today.

If you haven't heard, Baroness Margaret Thatcher died today. She was leader of the Conservative Party in Britain and the first female Prime Minister (PM) here. (She was also played by Meryl Streep--who is great--in The Iron Lady, which is a movie I recommend.) She was an extremely polarizing figure, even today, in Britain. People either loved her or hated her for her politics and policies (we'll come back to this in a minute). It is truly amazing to me how long her shadow is, if you will. People who weren't even born yet when she was PM feel so strongly about her.

Her death hit me in a way I wouldn't have expected. After all, I'm not British. I'm not affected by the aftermath of her policies (unless you count her influence on/professional relationship with Reagan). I didn't know her personally (although that would have been cool). Maybe it is simply because I'm interested in British politics and she was an influential British PM, although I think it is more than that. For whatever reason, I'm feeling her death more than I thought I would (not that I previously contemplated how I would feel when she died, because I didn't). You may, understandably, ask what I'm feeling that was so unexpected. The truth is, I'm not sure how to describe it. I've just been thinking about her all afternoon. So I want to share some of those thoughts.

Let me back up a bit. I was getting ready to go for a training hike (I'm going on a four day hiking trip in May-I'll tell you more later) this afternoon. Just before I left, I checked email and Facebook and something on Facebook caught my eye. The European Parliament (yes, I'm a geek and follow the EP on Facebook) posed something about a tribute to Thatcher and mentioned she had died. I was shocked and checked the BBC website. Sure enough, news had just broken of her death following a stroke. I almost immediately left for my hike, but in a very different state of mind. My hike was to take me along the Mall, past Buckingham Palace and around Hyde Park, but I didn't get that far.

See my thoughts were on Thatcher so as I walked past St. James Park, I instinctively looked back towards Parliament, which can be seen from the Mall at certain points. As I walked, I noticed that the flag flying over Parliament was still all the way up and I sort of wondered when they would lower it to half mast, as I thought they surely would after Thatcher's death. And then, in the five minutes or so that I walked along the Mall, I kept looking back and suddenly I realized that since I had last looked, they had lowered they flag to half mast. That really struck me. The fact that I had essentially (although not quite) seen the flag lowered over Parliament. So I took a minute to look, but continued on, intending to finish my barely started hike. I only made it to Buckingham Palace before I stopped again. The flag over the Palace had also been lowered. I can't quite describe why, but seeing these flags really meant a lot to me. So I turned around to go back and get my camera to take some pictures of these landmarks with their flags lowered. I wanted to be able to share these images that meant so much to me with you (and I will, but right now my internet is really slow so it will have to wait). I ended up circling around to Parliament Square and just sitting and taking things in.

So what have I been thinking about all afternoon? I've been thinking about this woman who was so influential that within hours of her death, flags were at half mast and memories and condolences were flooding in from literally all around the world. I was thinking about how even though I don't agree with her policies, I respect and admire Mrs. Thatcher. And I would like to tell you why (with the caveat that I don't know that many details about her time as PM and some of what I know, I've gotten from a movie).

First of all, I admire her for being the first female PM. She was a woman in the most powerful position in a field (still) dominated by men. I just think about the dedication and courage that took and I'm grateful to Mrs. Thatcher for showing girls like me it is possible (no I don't want to be a politician, but I look up to women like her). Second, I respect her for doing what she believed to be right for the country. I believe that rational people can disagree about the right course so I don't have to agree with her to respect her for doing what she thought was right. Sometimes it feels like politics is about telling people what they want to hear rather than what one actually thinks. I don't think we can accuse Thatcher of this.

So that is what I was thinking about today (or at least what I remember thinking). But there is one more thing I want to say on the subject. I already said that she was, and remains, a very divisive figure. What has really surprised me today have been some of the reactions I have seen to her death. Some people on Facebook (mostly friends of friends and people commenting on some posts) have said things to the effect that they are celebrating. This really disappoints me. It seems to me that even if we disagree with someone's policies, they are still human; still loved and missed by family and friends. I could understand celebrating when that person with whom you disagree is voted out of office, but celebrating their death seems, to me, to cross a line. I guess I just wanted to share that, for what it is worth.

I suppose I just wanted to share all of this to get it out of my head. I haven't had anyone to talk to today so you guys get to read my thoughts. Sorry. :) I also wanted to write it down so I would remember. I want to remember the way seeing those flags moved me and how I feel influenced by this woman who I will never even meet. And I guess that is the other thing I was thinking about today. Today, I was reminded that, on a much smaller (and hopefully less polarizing) scale, I want to influence and make a difference to the lives of others.